First set the stage by sharing a positive purpose for your feedback.
BIG = Behavior (describe objectively), Impact (subjectively share your belief/”story” & your feelings about it), Going Forward (gain agreement on next steps).
Ask yourself, “Am I truly open & curious to understand the other person’s story (Ladder of Inference)?”
When giving developmental feedback, focus on the behavior, not the person to avoid defensiveness– “When you do X”, vs. labeling people “You are Y.”
When a person gets defensive, remember that they’re feeling attacked & going into fight, flight or freeze mode. Try to make them feel safe again.
